Dear Friends,

When Brian and I were engaged, we were apart for most of a year. I was in Milwaukee and he was in Texas. We wanted to be together in the worst way, and we would repeat to each other these words from 1 Corinthians in our e-mails, letters and late night phone calls: “Love is patient.” In fact, we had them inscribed on our wedding rings.

More than 13 years of marriage and a couple of kids later, those words have a different kind of meaning. At this stage of life, with jobs, kids, and activities, so much of our life is spent covering the bases, we don’t always feel as starry-eyed in each other’s presence as we felt back then. This is how it goes, I know, but still … we want more than a working partnership. We want a marriage. It means carving out time to be together and finding daily ways to show appreciation, even if we aren’t feeling particularly romantic. Sometimes it means being patient with one another, with ourselves and leaning on the promises we made to each other until that “loving feeling” returns.

Our relationship with God also ebbs and flows. Musician Chris Rice has named it for me in his song, “One of Those Days:”

Oh, it’s been one of those days when You walk with me so close I think I caught the scent of angel wings and my, oh my, unsuspecting heart leaps from its place, begins to race, I finally found the place I never want to leave. Why can’t every day be like today?
In the next verse, he sings:

Oh, why do the good days end? Makes me wonder now, with the way I feel, if yesterday was even real. Why, oh why, do you seem so far away? Does this mean that I’ve gone too far this time? How can I make You change your mind? Why should any day, should any day be like today?

I can relate, especially this time of year. It’s deep winter, 20 below outside right now, and I am feeling a little out of sorts. Like many of you, I thrive on light, warmth and growing things. God is near to me in creation. We have had so many days in a row of cold, cold, no end in sight and we start to feel a little trapped and empty, longing for spring. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes … It feels like God has left for warmer climates.

I find comfort in the witness of Chris Rice and many other faithful believers who are willing to admit out loud that this is how it is with our relationship with God. It is not one continual spiritual high. Sometimes we do not feel God near us, loving us. The Psalms are filled with these kind of questions: “How long, O Lord, will you stay silent?” “Why do you hide your face from me?”

When God feels far away, we remember, “love is patient.” Certainly God has been patient with us, but sometimes, we too need to be patient with God. When Jesus tells us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength he is not saying, “muster up really passionate feelings for God.”

He is reminding us that this relationship requires intentionality. We commit to praying, worshiping, devotional time and service even when we don’t have that warm, fuzzy feeling towards God. For myself, I listen to Christian radio, talk to friends, try to get some exercise, talk to God about it… and wait. And then, some moment when we least expect it, there it is again … God is right there, that grace floods us again, it is spring in our hearts, and we are totally blown away with love for our creator and redeemer. We hang on to those moments as along as possible. We remember them and share them with others. They are real. But ultimately, this love affair with God is not about the feelings that come and go, but is based on the covenant made to us in baptism (not unlike our marriage vows), “Now and forever, you are mine. I will never leave you or forsake you.”

Friends, it may be cold and dark tonight. Even so, I’m going to be patient and depend on that promise. God is near, his love is for real, and spring is coming.

Pastor Kristen